From Me to You: A Heart to Heart

Hello lovely Readers,

I’ve been gone a long time. A number of months have passed and no new posts have graced the pages of this blog. I want to be completely honest with you guys and try to get my thoughts about this blog and where it’s going onto this page. I’m going to do my best to answer questions, that you might have, and I’m going to be my best to answer them honestly.

So, let’s dive in….

Where Have I Been?

This one is probably going to be the easiest one to answer. I’m currently in college, and I’ve been busy taking classes and working. I’ve been spending time with friends and visiting family. I’ve been reading and have also been taking on a challenge that I hope to share with you before too long. In short, I’ve been living life.

Why Did I Stop Writing?

This one is more complicated and the one I’m going to have the hardest time answering. A simple answer is that I felt uninspired. I felt frustrated because I wanted to be writing and sharing it with everyone, but I wasn’t inspired and I just didn’t feel like it. It’s an odd mix of emotions and the combination made it hard for me to bring myself to write. That’s the simple answer.

Here’s the more complicated answer:

I’ve been dealing with the feeling of inadequacy. I was doing that thing that people always advise you not to do. I started comparing my little blog to the bigger, beautiful, regularly updated blogs that I love to read.

I wanted to be doing what they were doing but didn’t feel like I had the authority or was good enough to do it. I know that this is a common thing that everyone deals with from time to time. Comparing myself to others knocked me and I’ve been struggling to stand up straight again.

Another reason why I’ve been apprehensive to write Scribe’s Canvas is that it’s been growing quickly. I went from starting this blog because I was scared to share my writing with the world to writing for over 1000 people, many of whom I know personally, in a little over a year. It’s been wonderful and amazing. I know that to other people it might seem like this blog grew very slowly, at a snail’s pace, but for me, it was fast. I’ve always been a shyer person and enjoy the amenity that a blog provides. I started feeling like I couldn’t post what I wanted to because I was nervous about what people would think of me; even though all I’ve ever received has been love and support from this amazing community. I’ve been working on this, and while these feelings haven’t completely gone away and I still feel nervous about posting things, I’ve also come to the realization, that this is the exact reason why I started my blog in the first place. I started it to share my work and ideas with the world and to overcome this exact fear. The fear of rejection, the fear of what others think about me, the fear of the unknown.

Am I Back For Good?

To be completely honest, I don’t know yet. But I can say that I hope that’s the case. I’ve really missed writing Scribe’s Canvas.

Even as I sit here and write out this post, I feel better. Maybe it’s just because this is kind of cathartic or maybe it’s because it feels good, to be honest with you and share, but either way, I’m glad I’m writing again. So, I hope that I’m back for good. I hope that I can continue to push myself out of my comfort zone and help myself and others realize that we don’t need to be controlled by our fears.

Is the Content on Scribe’s Canvas Going to Remain the Same?

Probably not, and that’s okay. There have been things that I’ve been wanting to write about, that don’t fit into what I originally claimed this blog would be about and that’s okay too. This is a work in progress and quasi-documentation of what I’m interested in at different points in time. I’ve decided to do my best to let go of all constraints on what subjects Scribe’s Canvas contains. After all, the tagline for this blog since day one has been “a place for a little bit of everything”. There will probably continue to be poetry and creative writing posts, as well as things regarding bullet journaling, or baking, or running, or adventuring, or knitting, or about anything I feel like that day. This is a place for me to share my thoughts and writing with you and to give you a place to take a little break from your day if you so choose.

Well, there you have it. I hope I’ve been able to answer some of your questions. I’m excited and nervous to be back, but isn’t that just a sign that this is something special. I don’t remember a time where I was excited to embark on an adventure and didn’t feel a little nervous as well. I often say that I love going on adventures. It’s one of those things that I share when people ask me to tell them about myself. I’ve come to realize that while I say that I love going on adventures, I often let my fear of the unknown, fear of what people will think, fear of… fear in general, get in the way. And I did that with this blog as well. This is an adventure of sorts and for a little while there, I let my fear get in the way, but one of my goals for 2017 is to work on learning how to overcome my fear, and returning to this blog is a big step, for me, in doing so.

So, I welcome you on come along on this journey with me. I don’t know exactly where we’re headed, but it’s sure to be an adventure.

-Acire

 

 

14 Responses to “From Me to You: A Heart to Heart

  • Janice Largent
    1 month ago

    It is so good to have you back. I have missed your writing. I was also aware of your studies and a part time job so I definitely didn’t want to nag. Peace and courage to you!

    • Thank you so much for stopping by and for your kind words! Peace and courage to you as well!

  • I’m glad you’ve returned. Your blog was missed. You raise a lot of good points. As a fellow writer, I cope with those same comparisons and feelings of inadequacy. I’ve come to the point where I can almost shrug most of it off.

    I have no advice for you about this. With writing, as with marriage and dating and a bajillion other things humans do, we don’t know where the hell it’s going to go, or the consequences. I can encourage you to write for yourself. That’s the simplest thing to say, but I write for myself. I keep hoping others, like you, will find what I write, read and enjoy it.

    Whatever your decisions and paths, have fun and good luck. We’re all behind you, no matter the path. You don’t walk alone. It just feels like it on too many days.

    • Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I find solace in knowing that I am not the only one going through this. I will take your advice on writing for myself. Thank you for sharing your writing with the blogging community!

  • I hear what you’re saying and I’m glad you’re back!

  • Welcome back! I think we all feel inadequate and not up to the task from time to time. But you write very well. Please keep at it.

  • Hi there Acire, its good to see you and good to know you’ve been living life. I do find it hard keeping up with you and you don’t appear on my reader.

    You should never fear writing and I hope you find your mojo again. I try and write geeky scifi stuff but you can see I post lots of things. Go with what you feel and I’m sure it’ll flow.

    Keep smiling, you’re a great writer don’t forget that 😊

  • I do admire you and your writing. I’m an old man who started writing late in life and all because of an accident that left me with a broken hip followed by surgery and rehab. It took that event to get me really writing, seriously. I’ve tried prose, poetry and short fiction, am I good, no far from it, but we all have stories to tell and each one is precious. You are young, not to be one of those old folks who belittle the young by reminiscing, and your writing inspires, even an old dog like me, Life does get in the way, trust me I now have grandkids who demand attention, but writing is my escape, that special place where I can be myself. Keep writing, keep being yourself, it is important.

    • Thank you so much for sharing! And thank you for your advice!

  • Greetings Acire,
    Thankyou for liking my post because honestly that is what brought me back to your blog again. I remember the first time I read your blog, I loved it. And truthfully I will keep appreciating it. I hope this new adventure brings you the confidence, love and your soul back to you. I hope you get to express yourself freely here. It’s not the aesthetics of the blog but the beauty of your heart that people adore. Sending you the love and respect you deserve. 🙂
    Until next time. <3

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