Reckless Romance | Reader’s Choice

Hello, everyone! This is the reader’s choice for November. Thank you to all of you who voted in last month’s inspiration call. You couldn’t decide between reckless and romance, so these are the inspiration for today’s post.

creative writing, fiction, romance,

Darling,

It pains me to write this to you, as I would so much rather say it while in the same room as you, but alas we do not have that option. I’m trying very hard not to have hard feelings about that, but I am only human. I can’t be perfect every day though I know you wish that was so.

Is that why you left? Because I wasn’t perfect in your eyes anymore? Would you tell me if it was? I wouldn’t blame you. I did make you so many promises, and never followed through. I did tell you so many fantastic stories of times past and never made extravagant stories of our own.

Maybe I should have. Thinking back on it all now, as I sit here in this empty apartment in the city, I don’t understand why things happened the way they did. It all happened so fast. My memories are just flashes of images and I have a hard time linking them together to form a coherent story. I can not tell you how much I wish I could remember our story. How much I hate that the only memories I have are snippets of moments.

I remember the beach, but only the look on your face when your feet touched the water. I don’t remember anything else from that day. I remember the restaurant when I spilled red wine all over the table. I don’t remember you asking me to move in. I remember the how messy your short hair was after our first night in our apartment, but I don’t remember the rest of the day. I couldn’t even tell you if I was with you at all that day expect for the morning. Was I? Do you remember? On second thought, I don’t want to know. I think it would hurt too much to know how much I lost.

I’m realizing now that maybe we weren’t meant to be together after all. Maybe we were just meant to be a fling? I know it will hurt you for me to say these words to you, but I must. I need to get these thoughts out of my head. They’re driving me crazy, darling.

I remember your family telling us we were moving too quickly and I remember mine telling us we were reckless. We laughed in their faces and told them they knew nothing of modern romance. We told them that ours was one for the history books. It was going to be one of those fantastic loves stories we loved so much. It wasn’t though, was it?

We tried, oh god how we tried. But I guess in the end it just wasn’t meant to be. I’m not perfect, though for your sake I wish I was. We had our differences and our difficulties and in the end, I guess we just couldn’t get things to work.

I’m realizing now that this letter is getting rather long and I haven’t gotten to the point yet.

So, here it is:

I’m sorry. For all the times I wasn’t there, for all the dinners I missed and parties I didn’t take you to. I’m sorry for all the mornings I left before you were awake and for all the nights I came back long after you were asleep. I’m sorry that I don’t remember more of our years together. I know that I should have so many more memories of you, but my mind is full with images of morning commutes, office walls and evening trains. I’m sorry.

I wish I’d realized this all before you packed your bags and left. We were swept up in a reckless romance and didn’t think about what it truly meant. We should have talked more, we should have done a lot of stuff. If we had things would have been different. Or, then again, maybe they wouldn’t be. Maybe we were destined to be a short-term romance.

In the years that have passed, I’ve watched you from a distance. I’ve seen you fall in love again, marry, start a family. I still have my morning commutes and office walls. I’ve watched you and felt jealous. I was missing something. Until last week on the train.

So, I’m also writing this letter to say goodbye to all the good and all the bad of our relationship. I’m writing to say goodbye to the reckless romance that I’ve been holding onto for a decade. I’m writing to say that I’m letting go. I won’t ever send this to you. I’m actually going to burn it. I’m letting go of the torch I’ve held for you for the last ten years.

Goodbye and thank you for everything,

-m

4 Responses to “Reckless Romance | Reader’s Choice

  • Great writing. Excellent. Grabs the reader’s attention and pulls you into the story and characters. Felt very real. Great job!

    • Thank you so much! I’m glad it you enjoyed it! Thanks for stopping by!

  • James Hopkins
    10 months ago

    This is incredible, so well written. Thanks for sharing.

%d bloggers like this: