Amount of screen time: 0 minutes
books behind in reading challenge: 3
Hello again! It’s been a few days, but there hasn’t been much to update you on, and I’ve been rather busy. Things are a bit easier, I’m not feeling quite as annoyed at not being able to watch something when I get home from work, so that’s an improvement. I’m almost halfway done!
As part of my way to find something to do that didn’t break my rules, I started searching through old poems that I’d written. I thought that since I don’t really have anything to update you on, that I would instead share one of the poems that I wrote a while back (hopefully I haven’t posted it here before). As I did with the last poem I will also be releasing it as its own post tomorrow.
Beginnings
I dread the moment when you’ll walk away
or maybe it’ll be me
but which every one of us takes that step
it marks the end of what we’ve had
we’ve laughed together
enjoyed each other
but I can’t help feeling
like we don’t quite fit together
every time we have a fight
we always end up at the same damn place
that moment when we look at one another
and wonder what to do
each time I’ll say “let’s try”
and each time you agree
but with every day that passes
I feel like it’s just me
As if I’m the only one who’s working
the only one who wants to change
and maybe that is the case
but that doesn’t work for me
for every time I ask if we can talk
I am met with silence
and yet every time I back away
you tell me not to go
I’m getting so many messages
and none of them match
you tell me to talk to you
and then hide yourself from me
I’ve laid myself bare
shown you the best and the worst
told you things I don’t tell anyone
all with your encouragement
and yet when I ask the same of you
I’m facing down a thick stone wall
you ask for help and when I try
you disregard me and push me away
And so I’m throwing up my hands
I’m calling your bluff
I’m done trying to figure out
what exactly you want from me
So, maybe this is a time for new beginnings
a fresh start, for something new
maybe this is the start of something better
I only wish it could be with you
Very beautifully and painfully said.
Thank you!
Glad the no screen time is working – this poem is heartfelt 🙂
Thank you 🙂